Hope and Memory
by HighTime
Summary: What if the gaang had found Appa under Lake Laogai, and the notorious Blue Spirit had fallen into the Dai Li's trap? What if Jet hadn't know "Li" was a firebender? What if Aang had been able to let go? AU. Zutara, light Taang. Enjoy
1. The Awakening

**Hope and Memory**

**Chapter One: Awakening  
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* * *

  
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_Jet_

* * *

A week after Princess Azula's coup, a week after the Avatar and his friends had fled to the Eastern Air Temple after the battle that had nearly killed both Aang and the Princess, Jet and his new Freedom Fighters broke into the Lake Laogai facility.

Jet's initial plan had been to recruit in the city, but it had proved almost completely fruitless. They'd managed to find four people willing to fight Azula. _Four_. To be specific, in addition to Smellerbee, Longshot, and the newly returned Pipsqueak and the Duke, they now had a clerk, a university student, a zoo worker, and a novice earthbender. Li, who Jet had hoped would finally join up after the coup, was nowhere to be found. Li's uncle, old Mushi was missing, too. Recruiting in the city was definitely not working, and Jet had decided he needed a new source.

Who, he had asked himself, would be willing to fight Princess Azula and the Dai Li? Who had nothing left to lose? The answer had come to him in a flash: The brainwashed prisoners. People whose memories had been falsified, if they could be convinced of the truthyh, couldn't be sure that they had homes to go back to. And they would be very, very angry. He had ordered the raid the next day. There was no point in waiting, since they had no way to gather intelligence. So here he was, hiding in Po-Sun's, the earthbender's, somewhat unstable, very crowded bubble of open space, listening through his dagger – silently thanking that doofus Sokka for the trick – as the Dai Li guards passed by, bringing the prisoners their food.

The air was getting thick by the time he whispered, "They're gone," and Po-Sun opened up the wall again.

Jet didn't need to give any further orders. The gang knew what to do: Find the prisoners who seemed most coherent, get them out of their cells, and make a run for it. Leave anyone who was too far gone to be of use. Jet might not have been as ruthless as he once was, but this was still war.

The Freedom Fighters ran from cell to cell, knocking on each door and judging the response. Jet did the same.

The results were good, but not as good as Jet had hoped they would be. Jet had found only four people who were anything less than catatonic by the time he had estimated they'd have to leave to avoid the guards. Growling to himself, he knocked on one last cell, opening the little window in the door. He nearly froze in shock.

"Li?"

The scarred boy didn't respond. He was sitting at the back of the cell, staring blankly off to the left.

"Jet, we need to go," said Smellerbee, coming up behind him.

"Just a minute," said Jet grimly. "I found Li."

"What?"

Jet popped the cell door's lock open with the spiked hilt of one of his swords and opened it.

"Li, get up," he said. The prisoner, dressed like all the others in an undyed, sleeveless cotton tunic and pants, turned his head and looked up at Jet dimly, without comprehension.

"Damnit," Jet muttered. He darted inside the cell and grabbed Li by the wrist, pulling him to his feet.

Li stood up without any real pulling, and passively allowed Jet to lead him down the corridor to the cave Po-Sun had formed. When the guards had passed again and they made for the surface. Jet had to keep pulling on Li to get him to walk. Yun, the former clerk, was looking askance at Jet. The guerrilla sent a glare his way that got him facing forward again.

"I'll explain once we're safe," Jet said to the team.

* * *

"So who is he?" asked the Duke once they were safely in forest surrounding Lake Laogai, as they began their steady march back to the base camp they'd set up.

Jet, who was still leading Li by his wrist, glanced at the blank-faced teenager before answering. "His name is Li. I met him on the ferry across Full Moon Bay, and he helped me steal the captain's food for the refugees. I asked him to join up after that, but he said no. Kept saying no right up until the day he disappeared."

"I thought we were only supposed to take people who could fight!" grumbled Yun.

"Fight? Fight who?" wailed one of the former prisoners. "I'm just a seamstress!"

"We'll explain when we get back to camp," said Jet. "Let's just say that things aren't as peaceful as you've been led to believe. As for Li," he continued, turning to Yun, "if we can get him to wake up, he'll be more than useful."

Yun looked at Li, who was walking docilely behind Jet, starting straight ahead. "Sure he will."

* * *

They reached their camp just as the sun was setting. Already, Jet felt he was being vindicated in his choice to free Li, who had gradually begun showing interest in his surroundings as they walked. By the time they were done setting up camp, he had started responding to simple commands like, "Get out of the way." After Yun got the fire going, Li even moved independently to sit next to it. The flames seemed to fascinate him.

"Everyone gather 'round," said Jet. The gang members and the former prisoners walked and shambled over to the tree stump Jet was standing on.

He had to make this good.

"Do any of you," he asked, "know where you were before we came for you?"

There was a general negative murmuring.

"Do any of you," he asked, "know who took you there, who imprisoned you?"

Again, a negative murmur, this time with a different tone as the prisoners began examining the gaps in their memories.

"It was the Dai Li," Jet said bluntly.

"That's impossible!" shouted a woman. The seamstress who had spoken up earlier, Jet believed. He noted that she seemed to be recovering faster than the others, even if she was displaying it in an incredibly aggravating way. "The Dai Li are a cultural bureau!"

"That's what they want you to think," said Jet. "That's what they've fooled the city into thinking for years. They've controlled the Earth Kings for ages, and now," he paused for effect, and also for breath, "and now, they've allied themselves with the Princess of the Fire Nation in an outright coup!"

Disbelief followed this statement, but Jet knew he had the initiative now, and a degree of control over their emotions. The rest – convincing them to join – was just a matter of showmanship.

* * *

After the rest of his speech, Jet left the former prisoners to talk among themselves and his Freedom Fighters to bed down for the night – it had been a long day for them, and for Jet. He, however, wanted to check on Li. He sat down next to the other teenager, who was still staring at the camp fire.

"Hey there," said Jet, not really expecting a reply.

Li's eyes flicked over to him, then back to the flames. "Fire," he said, very deliberately. "It's... it's fire."

Jet's eyes widened, but he managed to keep his cool otherwise. "Yeah," he said. "That's right. A campfire."

Li turned to face Jet fully. Though his face was still blank, his eyes looked deeply lost. "Who am I?" he asked.

Jet took a deep breath. "You're Li," he said.

* * *

_Li_

* * *

Li. He was Li. The boy – Li – nodded, feeling relief. It had been a very strange feeling, not having a name.

"Thank you," he said to the young man sitting in front of him.

Today had been a strange day. Before today, things had been different. There hadn't really been days. There had been long times in the dark, and sometimes there had been hands pushing food into his mouth, or forcing him to drink, or cleaning him and dressing him in new clothes. Other times there had been a light going round and round and round, and words that were very important. Today had been different. Today there had been hands with food, but then there had been hands with a _face_, the face he was looking at now.

Then there had been the sun, and he had felt awake for the first time he could remember.

"I'm Li," he said, trying out the words. They didn't feel wrong, or right, but they were _his _words. It was _his _name.

"You know me?" he asked the other boy.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm Jet, by the way. I'm a Freedom Fighter."

"Who do you fight?"

"Mostly the Fire Nation," said Jet, "and recently the Dai Li. The Fire Nation has been trying to conquer us for a hundred years."

"That's a long time," said Li. This was his first day. He couldn't even imagine a year, though he seemed to have some concept of what one was. Li shuddered slightly. His own mind was more like the place he had been before than where he was now: dark and empty. Words came to him when he needed them, but before then he was unaware of them.

"A very long time," said Jet.'

"The Dai Li are..." Li struggled in the dark "...the protectors of our cultural heritage." He smiled, pleased with himself. Those words were _right_.

"No," said Jet.

"But – "

"No, Li. That's what they want you to think," said Jet. Li was confused. Those words were _right_. "The Dai Li allied themselves with the Fire Princess, and they're the ones who did this to you."

"Did what to me?" asked Li. The only thing that had happened to him had been Jet's doing.

"Took your memory," said Jet.

Li's face screwed up in a puzzled expression. "You mean... you mean... I was somewhere before this?"

Jet looked taken aback. "Of course you were. People don't just – where did you think you came from?

"I didn't," realized Li. "I didn't think." He shuddered. "At all."

Jet put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "That's what the they wanted, Li. The Dai Li did that to you."

Li could barely hear him over the buzz of rage in his ears. "I couldn't _think_. It was dark and cold and I couldn't _think_!" Li wasn't yelling. His voice was quieter, if anything, but the pure anger in it was palpable. His head jerked up and he looked at Jet with panic in his eyes. "You knew me. You said you knew me. Where was I... before?"

"I honestly don't know much about you," said Jet. "You came here as a refugee with your uncle. I'm not sure where he is now. The two of you worked in a tea shop. The two of us met on the ferry here. We, uh, liberated some food for the refugees. I asked you to join the Freedom Fighters then, and several times afterwards, but you always said no. I could never figure out why, after what the Fire Nation did to you."

Li blinked a couple times. "What did they do to me?"

Jet bit his lip. "Yeah, I guess you don't know. Feel the skin around your left eye."

Li lifted his hand, looking questioningly at Jet. Jet pressed the hand gently to the other boy's scarred face.

Li let out a shuddery breath as he traced the contours of the leathery patch of skin. "They did this to me?" he asked.

Jet nodded.

Li dropped his hand, eyes hardening. "They hurt me and they took my memory and they put me in the dark, and I couldn't think or feel or _anything_. I want to help you fight them."

Jet grinned widely. "Welcome to the Freedom Fighters, Li."

* * *

_Katara_

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* * *

  
_

A week after they'd fled the Dai Li on Appa's back, Katara was comfortable enough with Aang's health to leave his cabin for more than a few minutes. Leaving Chatok, her father's medic, to watch him, she managed to find her way up to the main deck despite not really having had a chance to learn the layout of the captured Fire Nation ship.

The fresh, cold air was like balm on her skin, and on her mind. She took a deep breath and leaned against the railing to look up at the moon. Eventually she closed her eyes, relaxing into the rhythm of the ocean.

She wasn't sure how long she stood like that before a very distinctive smell broke her trance: onions and banana juice. She sighed.

"Hello, Guru Pahtik."

"Hello, Katara," the guru answered in his unique accent. "I see you have decided to emerge."

"Yeah," she said vaguely, staring up at the moon once again. "Aang's doing a lot better."

"Physically," said Pahtik.

"What do you mean?" asked Katara.

"Spiritually," said the guru, "he is in transition. He achieved the avatar state when he fought the Fire Princess, yes?"

Katara nodded. "It was... incredible. The way he redirected Azula's lightning back at her... Long Feng and the Dai Li still got him from behind, though."

The guru smiled faintly. "He is beginning to achieve control over the avatar state. He has let go of his most precious attachments, divorced himself from the world, thinking that he can never go back."

"That sounds awful," said Katara.

"It is," said Pahtik, "But it is part of what he must go through. Now, though, in order to become a fully realized avatar, he must find his way back."

* * *

**AN: ** Betaed by AvocadoLove, who is made of pure awesome. Check out her fic!


	2. Family

**Chapter Two: Family**

_-_-_-_

Katara

_-_-_-_

Katara had been in the middle of changing Aang's bandages when her father entered the sickroom. She glanced over at the sound of the door opening, and then rapidly turned back to Aang.

"What are you doing here?" she asked crossly. She didn't need his help, least of all when it came to healing.

"I came to see how you were doing," he said.

"I'm fine," said Katara. "You can go now."

"Katara…"

"I'm fine. I've been fine for two years. Why would I need you now?"

"Katara…"

"I haven't needed you for a long time now, and you haven't needed me or my help. Ever. You think Sokka was the only one who wanted to come with you, who wanted to help you? I wanted to go as badly as he did. I wanted to help my people!" Katara was struggling to keep her voice low. It wouldn't do to disturb Aang.

"Katara, you never said -"

"Of course I didn't. I knew you wouldn't have let me come. I would have been useless!" She lost her control on the last word, and it came out a yell. Katara stood and looked directly into her father's eyes. "You can't deny it," she said, deadly quiet.

Hakoda took a deep breath, then walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm not going to deny that you were hardly a hardened warrior, Katara. You didn't even have the training your brother had. You'd never showed any interest in it, so I let you keep mostly to a traditional girl's education. So, no, you wouldn't have been useless, but you would have been less valuable than the other members of the crew –"

"How can you say that?!"

"- _from a the perspective of a chief_. As your father, there will never, _ever_ be anyone or anything more important to me than you and your brother. That was my reason, as a father, for keeping you at home where you'd be safe. I also had a reason as a chief."

"What?" said Katara, through gritted teeth. She was nearly shaking from all the emotion she'd been keeping bottled up.

"You and Sokka both have, and have always had, incredible potential. Sokka has always shown abilities as a leader, and even two years ago, he wasn't bad with a boomerang."

"And me? The waterbending?"

"That, and more. You are an incredibly caring person, Katara, though you do occasionally let your temper get the better of you. When you let yourself, you see the good and the humanity in everyone. You bring people together, and hold them together. You are an amazing young woman, but looking at you two years ago, I could see that you needed time to grow. And you have."

Katara looked up at her father, then let out a single sob and threw her arms around him.

"I missed you so much, Dad…"

"I know, sweetie. I know."

_-_-_-_

Aang

_-_-_-_

Aang woke up to the smell of onion and banana juice.

"Drink this," said the voice of Guru Pahtik, and Aang unthinkingly obeyed. It took a few moments for his taste buds to process the information they were receiving. When they did, Aang started gagging.

"Your young waterbender friend will be back soon, but first we must talk."

Aang waited for the tightening in his stomach that the mention of Katara usually brought. It didn't come.

"I feel… different," said Aang.

The guru nodded, cleaning the onion and banana juice Aang had coughed up onto his front with a damp cloth.

"You have had an epiphany (awakening?)[can you help me think of a better term?], my young friend: a perspective and worldview altering experience."

"I let go," said Aang.

"Yes."

"It all seems so… so…"

"Distant? Insignificant? Amusing?"

"Uh, yeah. I mean, I was obsessed over little things, and I was so attached to things and people who won't last," said Aang. The guru's face twisted slightly on the last sentence.

"Then you have opened your thought chakra," said Pahtik, his face calm once more, "and are halfway to becoming a fully realized avatar. Congratulations!"

Aang stared at him. "What do you mean 'half way?' I thought you said – "

"I lied," said the guru, smiling sadly. "It was a necessary deception. There is a second step, one you must discover for yourself. I will be here to help you prepare for the time when you have taken that step, but I cannot reveal to you what it is."

"So it's all up to me," said Aang. He felt like should be angry, but instead he was just sad.

The guru squeezed his shoulder. "It is as it has always been." Then he walked out of the room, leaving Aang alone.

_-_-_-_

Katara came in soon after Guru Pahtik left.

"Hey," said Aang.

"Hey," Katara echoed softly.

"We lost Ba Sing Se, didn't we?"

She nodded. "Yeah. We left Jet behind to try to mount a resistance, and to try to keep attention there. I know it's a gamble, but I really think he's changed. Also, without the Earth King's armies, we'll have to rely on personal allies." She smiled. "Luckily, we have lots of those."

He didn't smile back, and Katara's expression faltered. "Aang?"

"There's something I need to tell you," said Aang. "I- I had feelings for you. Really, really strong feelings. I've let go of them though. I had to, to master the avatar state. I had to let go of all earthly attachments."

"Aang…" she stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

"Goodbye, Katara."

_-_-_-_

_Li_

_-_-_-_

Li's first mission for the Resistance was to, in Jet's words, "Steal some damn clothes for everyone. I'm sick of looking at prison uniforms, and they're way too conspicuous."

So, on his third night outside of Lake Laogai, Li paid a visit to a farmhouse just outside there latest forest camp. Jet had given him a dagger – his very first possession – and when he reached the likely looking farmhouse he used the point of it to pick the simple lock with out really trying, or thinking. He slipped in and out, silent and quick as a spirit, and was back at camp and shaking Jet's shoulder about an hour after he left.

"Jet, wake up," he whispered.

"Already?" said Jet, who was completely awake almost immediately.

Li nodded.

"Well, let's see what you got," said Jet, lighting a small lantern. The flame caught Li's eye and he turned to look at it. The way it moved was entrancing.

Jet snapped his fingers in his face. "Hey, I know you're tired, but I need you to stay with me, okay?"

Li tore his eyes away from the lantern and nodded. He pulled over the bundle of clothes he had assembled.

"Twenty-one people is too many," he said. "I can't carry so much and be quiet. I got twelve sets, though." He was frustrated. He hadn't been able to do what Jet said.

"It's fine," said Jet, going through the mixed articles of clothing. "This was more a test of your skills than anything else."

"Did I pass?" asked Li earnestly. He wanted Jet's approval very badly.

Jet grinned, the lantern's light flickering across his features. "Definitely. Good job, Li." He reached out and ruffled the other boy's messy hair. "You oughta tie some of that mop back, you know. It's getting longer than mine. Anyway, I'll have Smellebee get clothes for everyone else. Go get some rest."

Li smiled. Jet was proud of him.

XXXX

They reached the walls of Ba Sing Se two days later. Jet explained to Li that they had taken a long route and gone slow so the new recruits' atrophied muscles could be built up. Li hadn't really been listening. He was too busy staring at the walls. They were huge, taller than the tallest trees in the forest, which were the tallest things he had ever seen. When he had first seen the walls on the horizon, he had thought they were some sort of natural phenomenon. He had been completely speechless when they got close enough to really see them.

Jet and the veteran Freedom Fighters were talking to the other new recruits about how they needed to enter the city in small groups to avoid attracting attention, and telling them how to find the abandoned warehouse where they would be meeting. Li didn't have to listen, Jet said. Li was coming with him, to his apartment. He said that Li needed extra help, because of what the Dai Li did to him, so he should stay with him. The other prisoners might not be sure they had _their _memories, but they had the skills to blend in with normal people. He had explained that Li should pretend he couldn't talk when they went through the checkpoint, because if he said something wrong he might give them away. Jet was going to pretend Li was his cousin. Li liked that idea. Having a family, even a pretend one, sounded nice. Secure.

Jet had finished talking to the others. He came over to Li. "Time to go, Li," he said.

Li touched his scar, then tugged on the short ponytail he had taken to wearing at the nape of his neck. Locks of hair were always escaping and getting in his eyes, but he still wore it. Jet had said it was a good idea. It had become something of a talisman for him, just as his scar had. The scar reminded him what had been done to him, and the ponytail reminded him who had saved him, who he owed his life to, who _his_ people were. He stood up and followed Jet.

_-_-_-_

"Names?" barked the guard at the small refugee gate that Li and the five veterans were passing.

"Jet," said Jet. "My roommates Longshot, Smellerbee, Pipsqueak and the Duke, and my cousin Li, from near the Outer Wall."

The guard looked them all over. Li, glanced around nervously – he had never seen so many people! – caught his eye.

"What's with him?" asked the guard suspiciously.

"Li's not exactly all there," said Jet conspiratorially, taking the guard by the arm and whispering in his ear. "Childhood head injury."

"Alright," said the guard. "Make sure you keep an eye on him."

"I will," said Jet. He took the still gaping Li by the arm and headed into the city.

_-_-_-_

.Ba Sing Se was _crowded_. By the time they got to Jet's apartment, Li was just about ready to hide in the corner. He probably would have, if Longshot hadn't looked very pointedly at him and then at the teapot.

Li made tea while Jet and the others talked about training the new recruits. Li zoned out, losing himself in the motions of making tea. He found the process comforting. He served it to the veteran Freedom Fighters, then went back to the kitchen nook and stared out the window at the city. The window faced a gap between two buildings, and he could see for a long way.

"Hey Li, come here," called Jet. Li came over and sat down behind the Duke, since there was no room left for him at the low table. "Li, who taught you how to make tea?"

Li blinked. "I don't- I just know."

Jet nodded, as if Li had confirmed something to him. "And if I had asked you to make tea before you did it could you have told me how?"

"No, I don't think so."

Jet nodded again. "There. You see, Longshot? He'll be ready for action as soon as we get those swords back in his hands." He stood up. "Now, I'm going back to Li's old apartment. I'll see if his stuff is still there. Smellerbee, Longshot, Pipsqueak, head to the warehouse. Make sure everyone is settling in okay. The Duke, you can go with them if you want." He started heading for the door and Li stood to follow him. Jet looked back. "Uh, it'd probably be best if you stay here, Li. Your neighbors might notice that you've, er, changed a bit. We don't want them to start asking questions."

Li nodded. He was disappointed, but Jet had explained to him on the march to the city that the Dai Li would probably be looking for them.

"I'll stay with him," said the Duke. Jet nodded his approval and left. A few minutes later, Li and the Duke had the apartment to themselves.

"So…" said the Duke, "do you know how to play the pickle game?"

"I- I don't know," stammered Li. He had gotten used to Jet by now, but talking to other people, having actual conversations with them, was a new experience.

"Okay," said the Duke, pulling a deck of cards out of a drawer. "I'll teach you."

_-_-_-_

Jet returned before any of the others, almost empty handed.

"Sorry Li," he said. "After you and your uncle had been missing for a week, the landlord pawned most of your stuff. The only thing left was this dagger. No legal market for weapons in the lower ring.

He tossed Li a dagger, obviously of Earth Kingdom make and of high quality. Li cautiously unsheathed it, wanting to examine the blade. There was an inscription: "Never give up without a fight," he read aloud.

"Never give up, period," countered Jet. "Now come on you two. Let's head to the warehouse."

_-_-_-_

Li liked the warehouse. It was big, and empty except for the small area that was housing the other new recruits. When they got there, Jet conferred with his original gang for a while, then they got the recruits into a line and started passing out poles and sticks – practice weapons. Jet would put each new recruit through a series of different motions with different length pieces of wood, then hand them the one he thought suited them best. When he got to Li, he just smiled an handed him two medium lengths of wood.

"Form up into groups with the others who have the same practice weapons," Jet called out. Smellerbee and Pipsqueak are going to show you how to use them. Li!" Li, who had been watching a Pai Sho game going on between several of the Freedom Fighters who were neither new recruits nor old timers, snapped to attention. A few of the other recruits laughed quietly. Jet raised an eyebrow. "You're not in the army Li, no need for that. Now come here. I want to see if we can get you wielding those like you did the first time I saw you."

Five minutes later, the two Freedom Fighters were sitting next to one another, bruised and breathing hard but grinning.

"You're gonna do fine, Li," said Jet. "You're gonna do fine. We'll find you a pair of real ones tomorrow. I know a guy who should have something in stock."

_-_-_-_

The "guy" was Ishi, a tall, massively fat man with a huge mole on his forehead and a prospering rickshaw business. Li had never seen anyone as large. He couldn't stop staring at the man, despite the glares it got him.

"Your friend isn't very polite," remarked Ishi, leading Li and Jet through a door hidden behind a scroll rack in his office. Li felt his face redden.

"Li had a head injury recently," said Jet, putting his hand on his companion's shoulder. "It really shook him up."

Ishi grunted noncommittally as he led the two young men into a small room filled to the brim with racks of various weapons. "Here," he said, pulling out a pair of dual broadswords. "Try these out."

Li took the proffered weapons and tired them out as best he could in the limited space, the appropriate motions coming to him as if emerging from a fog. He moved through slashes and parries, using the swords as if they were one weapon.

"They're good," he said. Usually he would have been shy, talking to someone he didn't know, someone who wasn't a Freedom Fighter, but holding the swords, going through motions that were so _familiar_, he felt confident, powerful, like a different person than the timid, skittish boy that Jet had freed from the Dai Li.

"We'll take them," said Jet.

_-_-_-_

Li woke up in the middle of the night that night, and no matter how much he tossed and turned in his sleeping bag (Jet said he could have a real mattress later that week.), he couldn't get back to sleep. He ended up on the roof with his new swords, going through forms to find out how many he knew.

He stayed up there, moving, thinking, until Jet found him that morning, holding his knees to his chest and staring at the rising sun. He was thinking about where he had come from, how little he knew about himself. Did he have parents? Siblings? Where had he learned to fight?

"I want to know more about who I am," he told Jet. "I want to find my uncle."


End file.
